Oh they had fun today.

I have been trying very hard over the last year not to pre-empt my children and not to let my personal fears rule their behaviours. Even though it is a bit scary to watch them race down the driveway with nothing protecting them, I know that it is best for me to allow it to be. We are right there next to them and they need their freedom to decide how far they want to push themselves, how brave they want to be and to recognise their own personally set limits without our interferance.

My job is not to yell out a million ‘Be careful’s’ (no matter how much I want to!). My job is to be there for them if they need me, and to watch withΒ a mixed sensation of fear and pleasure until they are satisfied with their efforts and we can go back into the saftey net that is home ;).


About hippyhappymama

I am a wife and a mama to 3 delicious children, Hannah (31-08-2008), Blake (12-10-2010) and Daisy (11/08/2013). I am in love with my family, writing, photography, travel, and all things related to active birth and natural parenting.

14 responses »

  1. Lol! Fantastic post. Especially love the last three and the expression on Blake’s face! Your words hit home because I am so one of those ‘be careful’ mum’s! I will have to remember this next time that I want to yell it out;) I must admit after having three boys I definitely say it much less then I did with boy #1,

    • Sharon, it is something I hadn’t even considered until I read some articles around the time Blake was born. It has really made a difference for me though and I find the children getting a bit more ‘scared’ of trying new things if I havent checked myself and have let my fears slip out.

      However… you’ll have to come back tomorrow to see what happened on day 111/366 that wasn’t so good and quite coincidental that it came the day after this post!

  2. awesome expressions and yes I went ‘eeeeep’ when i saw how steep the driveway is!!!! so good on you for letting them go for it πŸ™‚ I soooo hear you on holding back on the ‘be careful’ and expressing fears… we project SO MUCH onto our kids without even realising! so hard to stop myself a lot of the time but i do try – ive found Janet lansburys stuff so helpful for this topic! Great post x

    • Oh yes, I read a lot of Janet Lansburys posts now. I don’t agree with everything she says about babies but for toddlers and beyond the articles are fabulous. The projecting fears thing was new to me, but I can see the effect I have on my kids with what I say so it is something that is important for me to practice I think.

  3. Great words (wise words) and great photos. I adore the one of Blake turning around. I think you captured their lack of fear and fun perfectly πŸ™‚ . xx

  4. I love all of these, such a fantastic set that captures all the energy of little people. That last one of Blake is a corker, so funny. And oh how I love that apple dress…and it matches the trike, you have hit my soft spot!!

  5. Great post Andrea – I can’t believe how timely it is either – just this weekend gone my two girls have been riding their bikes down our very similarly steep driveway…I have also been trying very hard to just let them ‘do it’ and be there to pick up the pieces if it all goes pear-shaped. Way back when my son was only a tiny baby I read a great article about how important it is to let your children take risks and learn from the consequences…if we can guide them to ‘appropriately dangerous’ activities (ie. yes, they may hurt themselves, but it is an age appropriate activity), they have a much better ability to judge risks as they grow older. So everytime I see them doing something that they potentially hurt themselves, I always think of that article!! Helps me to really reduce the ‘be careful’ that is always on the tip of my tongue!

    • I totally agree with you Sarah, it is really hard not to help them or not to stop them doing ‘dangerous’ things but when you can hold back it is obviously so much better for the child and their development.
      Some of the things I have seen Hannah and Blake attempt since we began to adopt this approach is beyond amazing. Hannah is more catious and some of that is her personality but some of it is from us having been more fearful for her when she was trying things at Blake’s age. Blake however, is completely fearless and we were left to pick up the pieces on day 111/366 which was a bit scary but I’ll leave all that for when I publish the post.

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