Category Archives: Letters to my babies

Dearest Hannah – Happy 6th Birthday!

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To my dearest, darling Hannah,

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The cold days of Winter have come to an end and with them so has your birthday. My winter blossom, already 6 and growing up magically before my eyes, blooming into a young girl with her own ideas, thoughts, questions and wonderings. You are creating your own story Hannah darling, and I am so grateful to be on this path with you. Even though you rarely reach for my hand anymore, I hope you always know I am here for you today, and every day, forever.

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You’ve matured so much this year. There have been many changes and adjustments to make, from welcoming a new sibling, to moving house and you have accepted it all with an understanding and wisdom far beyond your years. You have been helpful, considerate, patient, kind, loving and thoughtful when I needed you most. Being the eldest is not the easiest of roles Hannah – believe me! – but just as I know you chose your birth order, I know that you have the ability to make the most of this time, even when it is challenging. So thank you, for being my most devoted assistant and responsible leader of the pack with Blake and Daisy. I hope in the future, these character traits will serve you abundantly.

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This year, we walked the talk and committed to unschooling. We went against the grain – as we’re prone to do – and you have flourished. Watching you learning every day, delighting in all the wonders of life, humbles me. Your dedication to yourself, to your own learning adventure is inspiring and seeing you confidently attempt and succeed in all manner of tasks is pure joy to your Daddy and I. We love seeing you so comfortable and free. Free to be yourself, to make choices, to take risks, and to begin to navigate this journey of life.

I thought I’d add a list of things you’ve been interested in and/or learned to do this past year for you to look back on. This is not an exhaustive list by any means, you do this and much more every day but these stood out –
learning to blow up a balloon; teaching yourself to hula-hoop;  horse-riding; taking a term of gymnastics classes; learning about countries and flags and general geography; teaching yourself to tie knots; choosing to have your ears pierced; so many home science and art projects; learning circus skills; attempting crochet; a deep interest in evolutionary theory, what happens when people die and the wonders of the universe; gardening; your ever growing interest in the human body; you lost your first tooth; your passion for writing has only increased and your mathematical skills are growing ever sharper; you participated in a television commercial and you spent more time immersed in nature than ever before.  You’ve covered this and more and wow, we’ve had a lot of fun along the way.

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Your star shines bright Hannah. It’s obvious to me that your purpose here is beyond anything I could have imagined, guiding us to think about our lives differently than what we did before. You inspire me with your passionate nature, your willingness to jump in and give everything a go and even though I try to think of words that perfectly describe who you are, I just can’t. You can’t be put into a box or a category, you’re above that. My whole world changed during my pregnancy with you and the last 6 years have spun me 180 degrees. Life is different for us because of you and we wouldn’t have it any other way. You’re truly a beautiful soul and I can’t wait to get to know you even better in the coming year, and hear more of your thoughts on this wonderful world we live in.

Hannah. I love you. I hope your 6th year is just as amazing as you.

Love Always,
Mama xx

Dearest Daisy – Happy 1st Birthday!

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To my dearest Daisy Emmeline,

My little love. My sunshiney Daisy Baby. You’re 1 year old!!

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So here we are – the official end of your baby days. You’re 1 year old now sweet girl. I could probably write that last sentence a million times over and yet I would still not believe it. I am truly in denial that the first year of your life has flown by in the blink of an eye.

You have added so much sunshine into our home since you speedily entered the world last August. Watching your birth video again reminds me what a special moment it was finally holding you in my arms after dreaming of you for so long. Your pregnancy was my hardest, the nausea was the strongest and the exhaustion was overwhelming. I honestly don’t know how I made it through those early days and weeks. I remember lying there during your 20 week morphology scan being so excited to hear it confirmed that it was you who was coming to meet us, our little Daisy who was so eager to let us know your presence long before I ever saw those two lines on the pregnancy test. My intuition – which had always been raised during my pregnancies – was incredibly strong with you. I felt so connected to you, to our dance of birth and the early months of your life. It just seemed like perfection.

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You were my sleepiest newborn, my first baby who didn’t prefer to feed to sleep and definitely the one who used up the most spew rags! I loved watching you fall asleep in my arms after a breastfeed as it didn’t happen nearly as often as I would like. I mostly walked you to sleep in those early days, watching our dance in the wardrobe mirror as your eyes grew sleepier and heavier. You slept in your gorgeous moses basket for the first few months and then moved beside me to the side-carred cot. I love co-sleeping with you. Waking up to your smile is the best start to my days. I miss those heady newborn days, they never seem long enough.

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This is one of my favourite stages, this happy, cheeky, fun-filled age where we really get a good glimpse of your personality. So far, you just love being around people, and lucky for you you have two adoring older siblings to sing you songs and teach you rhymes and cuddle you until you are all cuddled out! They are so natural with you, and amazingly they are so tolerant of your needs, and they appreciate your babyness. Hannah and Blake loved you while you were still growing in my belly but they couldn’t get enough of you once you were born, and they still can’t. I am so proud of them and I am sure your sibling relationship will continue to grow from strength to strength through the years.  Watching you with them, watching the 3 of you smile, giggle, cuddle, care for and think of each other has been amazing. Our home is full of the sound of children, of laughter and little feet and it is everything I never knew I wanted until each of you came into my life.

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I couldn’t have wanted more during this first year of your life. I know there is so much fun and love to come so it is bittersweet to say Happy Birthday to you today, but I will, because this is a celebration of you my darling, and you deserve it. Thank you for coming into my life and choosing me to be your mama. I appreciate it more than you know. You were just a beautiful thought in my mind for such a long time and now you’ve already had your first circle around the sun. Keep shining bright Daisy darling, we love you.

Love Mama xx

All Rights Reserved[We visited one of our favourite places this afternoon and picked some beautiful yellow Wattle there to celebrate your birthday. I was so surprised and happy to see a couple of ladybirds on the blossoms. It reminded me of the moment where I saw the ladybird long before I was even pregnant with you and I knew this was another sweet moment of divine connection between you and I Daisy. I love you, you are sweetness personified.]

 

 

Naming Daisy

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Daisy was never in my fantasy childrens names list. I would have been really surprised if someone had told me five years ago that I would have a daughter named Daisy one day. Not because it’s not a beautiful name but just because it had never spoken to me in a way other names did. But just like when I dreamt about Hannah before she was conceived and when I knew Blake was a boy even though the ultrasound said he was a girl, Daisy made herself known to me and worked her way into my consciousness a long time before I felt her sweet kicks and bumps in my belly.

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It all started in January 2012, when quite literally the name Daisy just popped into my head. We were trying for another baby and thinking about baby names is a favourite pastime of mine but this seemed a bit too girly and sweet to me. I decided to see what Brian thought of it – completely assuming he would dislike it – and I hoped his reaction would dissuade me. Straight away he said he it was a great name.

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Soon, I began noticing signs… little things that made Daisy a prominent feature in my mind every time I tried to put her to the back of my mind. I began to imagine that I would have another little girl, that this was the spirit of that baby making herself known to me. I began to feel comforted by these little signs and know it was her way of saying to me she was getting ready to come into our lives.

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I began to see the name Daisy in department stores, in movies, photographs and linked in blogs. This happened over and over for a couple of months in mid-2012 and then it seemed to slow down. Around the time of Blake’s birthday in October we decided that since we hadn’t fallen pregnant we would go overseas with my family and we started to make preparations for that. Literally that same week, I had a dream that I was 3 weeks pregnant with a baby girl after not having a baby related dream for a long time. My heart began to ache for this new baby that I now had to wait many more months to meet as I knew we would not be trying to conceive again until we come back from overseas.

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A few days after that dream, we were all getting ready to go out and the kids were bundled in the car with Brian when I went back into our little cottage to quickly sweep some crumbs that the kids had dropped by the doorway so ants didn’t come in while we were gone. As I was doing this, a ladybug landed on my arm. I stared at it and I felt goosebumps. I just knew it was another sign. The lady bug stayed for a minute and then flew off. When I got into the car I mentioned it to Brian straight away, I knew something had just happened . Later that day I opened my Instagram  account and the first photo I saw was of a Daisy flower with a ladybug sitting atop it…

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When we found out we were pregnant less than 2 months later, Brian immediately told me, “Our Daisy is on her way.” and I didn’t doubt it for a second. We just knew this was the child, this was the other member of our family who was coming into our world. I still had hesitations about naming her Daisy though. I felt as though she had named herself instead of us choosing a name for her as we had done with her siblings. I was worried we would make the wrong decision. After another conversation where I rattled off a handful of other names, Brian asked me if I could imagine her name being anything other than Daisy and I knew that I could not. Friends who I had told about my ‘daisy signs’ all had the same reaction when I told them I was pregnant “It’s your Daisy coming to you!” they said and I knew they were right. It was a really nice feeling, like we all knew a little secret that noone else understood.

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When it came to choosing her middle name, for a long time it was going to be Juliet. But our other children’s middle names have a family significance and I knew I wanted to try to find a name for Daisy that did too. Brian’s grandmother, his mother and my mum all have names beginning with ‘M’ so I was initially searching for M names. One night as I tossed and turned in bed with my swollen belly I jumped bolt upright when I remembered  I had always liked the name Emmeline. I quickly googled the meaning and was thrilled to find it meant ‘Hard working’ which seemed perfect as Daisy means ‘The day’s eye’ which always reminds me of dawn. I had a strong feeling Daisy would be born in the early morning so her name meaning hard work at dawn seemed perfect and  the strong M sound worked in with the family significance. I woke Brian up excitedly and let him know I had found the middle name that very moment!

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Each of my children has stretched me and my beliefs and understanding of that womanly intuition. Daisy stretched it the furthest just as she was meant to, and I let her. I let her take me on this journey and I know that her name – although it seems such a small part of her – will always have a big meaning to me and be a part of her story that I will love to share with her when she is grown.

{Photography of Daisy at her newborn photo-shoot at 2 weeks old by Documenting Delight}

A Snapshot of Hannah at 5 and a half years old.

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Hannah, at 5 and a half years old you are –

Intelligent, curious, kind, thoughtful, positive, responsible, friendly, empathetic, caring and wise beyond your years.

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Hannah, at 5 and a half years old you love –

Green apples, rainbows, movie nights, wearing dresses, carrot sticks, the colours pink and purple, going to Grandma & Grandpas house, unicorns, chicken and chips, riding your bike, playing with friends, gymnastics,  pancakes with strawberries and maple syrup, arts and crafts, baking, red capsicums, painting, collecting things for the nature table, butterflies, dress-ups, going out to new places, blueberries, reading the same books over and over, and being independent.

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Hannah, at 5 and a half years old your secret skills are –

Folding towels precisely; having an incredible memory and being able to recite books and songs verbatim; excellent physical skills like trampolining, balancing and climbing; and using your hair as a scarf on cooler days.

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Hannah, at 5 and a half years old the things I love most about you are –

Seeing your drawings stuck on walls around the house with bandaids; that you’re not afraid of heights; hearing you giggle; your sense of adventure; your negotiation skills; your long hair; and that you’re always looking to the future.

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My darling Hannah, don’t ever change. Always be proud to be YOU!

Daisy – Six Month Update

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Happy half-birthday baby girl!!!

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I’m shaking my head sitting here typing this because I just can’t believe you’re already 6 months old. Time simply MUST slow down!

This month you began rolling straight over onto your belly every time you were placed on your back. For the first week or two you thought this was great and you were kept entertained for quite a while but soon you began to squeal as soon as you went onto your tummy as you had forgotten how to get back onto your back. You were like a stranded little beatle, you lifted your legs and arms up so you were just balancing on your tummy and you screamed until someone picked you up! In the last few days you have become more comfortable on your front again as you have realised you can begin to try to reach for toys and you have attempted to get your knees up in your first tries at crawling. You’re probably still at least a month away from full crawling but that is fine with me – it’s certainly not my favourite baby stage!

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You began having a few tastes of food this past month, simple things like avocado and sweet potato. We’re doing BLW again so although we didn’t intend to feed you puree Hannah expressed an interest in feeding you from a spoon so she fed you apple puree about 2 weeks ago. You ate about two teaspoons worth but then spent the rest of the afternoon chucking up constantly. I knew this was not normal for you and a friend suggested a fructose intolerance so we’ve decided to stay away from certain fruit for another month or so and try again when you’re a little older.

We finally moved you out of your moses basket (cue tears from me!) and side-cared the cot next to our bed. You transitioned really well and actually began putting yourself to sleep a lot of the time. I’ve written before that you don’t often like to feed to sleep, and either your daddy used to walk you or we used to bounce you in the bouncer but now I can put you in your wrap after your feed into the cot and you will roll around until you fall asleep. That has meant that you’ve found your tummy and you have slept on your belly quite a few times. However you recently had your first illness so all of that has gone out the window and since your nose is blocked it’s better for you to sleep on your back. You have been waking up quite a bit at night, probably every 2-3 hours on average but sometimes giving you your dummy is enough to get you back to sleep or a quick feed will always do it. You still occassionally do longer stretches so I am confident that in a couple of months when the big developmental leaps of sitting and crawling are out of the way, we can work together to get you sleeping a few longer stretches. Though I know this stage will pass all too quickly as well. It’s nice having you next to me in the cot though. I love watching you sleeping and being the first to see those gorgeous smiles  in the morning.

You’re such a smiley baby, you just love people, and all someone has to do is to look into your eyes and you will almost always give them a big smile! In the mornings when you first see Hannah and Blake you smile as big as you possibly can and you chuckle a little and I just can’t stop myself laughing at the sight of it! It is a really nice way to wake up in the morning. Your bond with your older siblings is just growing stronger by the day. They love talking, playing with and cuddling you and you are really enjoying all the loving now instead of resisting it as you used to do when you were a bit smaller.

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So we are now in the second 6 months of your first year. You are going to get more interactive and more independent and we are going to see more and more of your personality develop. I am looking forward to everything yet to come but I have to admit I am grieving those early baby days and how quickly they seem to have slipped away. You’re just gorgeous Daisy, thank you for the last 6 months of love and joy, we’re incredibly grateful for your presence in our family <3.

Love, Mama xx

January Photo A Day Grateful Project – Day 23

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This dress is one of the first I bought for our dress-ups collection back when Hannah wasn’t even walking. It cost me $1.50 and it looks to be (poorly!) homemade but perfect for dressing up.

My parents have a photo on their fridge of Hannah wearing this dress as a toddler. I hadn’t seen any of the kids who so often raid our dress-ups actually pull it out and put it on for years! But Hannah found it again recently and has fallen in love. I showed her the photo of her little baby self wearing it and she smiled but of-course she did not remember.

I remember.

I remember those little legs walking, wandering, exploring our garden in the soft afternoon sunlight as I ran around taking photos and making silly noises in an attempt to make you smile. I remember how your hair didn’t even touch your shoulders and how it felt to have only you at our table for dinner and only you to cuddle in bed at night. I remember how that dress almost touched your ankles and now doesn’t even reach your knees and although you’re growing faster than I had ever imagined, I am grateful for this simple dress and the memories it brings me.

Daisy’s Birth Story – Part One

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The Birth Story of Daisy Emmeline
Born 11th August, 2013
At 04:41am in the Birth Centre at RWBH
Weighing 3.51kg and 49cm long
After a 1.5hr natural labour

It is the 11th of December 2012. I can hear the sounds of Hannah and Blake’s laughter through the bathroom window as they run around in the summer sunshine. I look down and see one strong line on the pregnancy test. I knew it, I think, negative again. Then I realise the line is in the spot where a positive line should be and I watch as a second line apears. A sound comes out of my mouth that is somewhere between a cry/scream/laugh. I am in shock. Your daddy knocks on the door and asks if we’re pregnant. I open the door and look at him with tears in my eyes, one hand covering my mouth and the other holding that stick with two strong lines. He hugs me when he sees the test and whispers in my ear, Looks like our little Daisy is on her way….

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We are in shock for days. We had only paid for our tickets for our overseas trip just two weeks prior. Obviously right around the time that you had been conceived. We’d been trying for our third baby for over a year and were going to wait until we came home from the holiday to try again. Since I was still breastfeeding Blake it seemed that I was practically infertile even though my cycle returned when he was 14 months old. It must have all changed when Blake night weaned. But it was unexpected.  As I hold that pregnancy test, I realise our life has changed again. Little do we know that in exactly eight months time I will be holding you in my arms.

I have had many signs over the last 18 months that lead me to believe another baby was coming into our family. All the signs were related to Daisies so we immediately think that you are a girl. We don’t mind either way of-course, but it is just a knowing that we both have. It seems Hannah feels it too as she is adamant that I am growing her little sister. We decide to have an early scan at 8 weeks and check to make sure you are growing well. We don’t take Hannah and Blake to this scan as we aren’t sure if we were going to get good news as scans have not always been a happy time for us. We find out that you are growing just fine but I have some cycsts on my ovaries so we book another scan for 14 weeks. Hannah and Blake come to that ultrasound and that is the first time they see you.  Watching them watch you bob about on that screen makes it real. It’s even more special to arrive at the 20 weeks anatomy ultrasound and watch Hannah’s face light up when we hear the sonographer declare that you are indeed a girl!  I let the realisation sink in that you will be okay, and that soon I will be a mama to three little people

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We spend a lot of time during the pregnancy talking with Blake and Hannah about you. We make you a part of our family before you are even born. I had maintained my interest in pregnancy, birth and babies since Hannah was born so both your siblings had already seen birth videos and flicked through my birth books but we really amp it up in preparation for your birth. We spend time talking about how you are developing and growing in my womb and what it will mean to have a baby in the house. Hannah and Blake just take it in their stride. They seem genuinely excited to meet you and to have you finally home. The length of a pregnancy is obviously a very long time for a child to wait, but they are as patient as they can possibly be. You recieve many, many cuddles, kisses and pats while you are still in my belly. You are so responsive, always moving to the spot where the person is touching and rarely does anyone miss out on feeling a kick from you. You are a mover and shaker in utero, just like your siblings before you!

Even though I had two great birth experiences with Hannah and Blake I did have one regret, and that was not having Hannah present at Blake’s birth. It had been my instinct to have Hannah there but everyone had told me she was too young. This time though, I know that all going well, I want your siblings to be there to witness your birth. The reason for this is twofold. Firstly, we feel that birth is a natural and beautiful part of life and something that we as a society should share and celebrate. There is no happier day than the day a child is born and I have found that children are very open and accepting of how babies come into the world and are excited about the idea of being part of that. Secondly, birth is the natural conclusion to pregnancy and I felt that being at the birth would give Hannah and Blake closure with the pregnancy chapter and allow the beginning of the new stage of life as a family of five naturally unfold.

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I initially picture having you at home. Literally every time I close my eyes during the pregnancy, I visualise myself getting on my knees on my bedroom floor at the foot of my bed and birthing you. I intuitively feel that the birth will be fast and that we may need to prepare for an unexpected homebirth so I want to bypass that fear and plan a homebirth from the beginning. I have always been open to having a homebirth and had very seriously considered one during Blake’s pregnancy but we hadn’t been able to find a midwife. This time though, everything comes together and we find a midwife. After an inital meeting at our house where we chat for over two hours, I know this is the way I want to birth and I excitedly begin to prepare to have you born at home.

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Unfortunately just a few weeks later, Brians work car breaks down. We have to use the money that we had saved for the homebirth to pay for a new vehicle to transport Brian to work. I am absolutely devestated and need to call the midwife and let her know the homebirth is now not an option for us. I question that decision for the rest of the pregnancy. We live only 10 minutes from the Birth Centre where Hannah and Blake had both been born and everyone keeps telling me that it is a great – and free – option so we put our application in and we are accepted. My heart still aches for the homebirth and logistically and emotionally I feel it would be the better option but I can see no way to get it. It just feels out of my reach.

The visions of having you on the bedroom floor don’t stop though. Brian and I have many conversations about the labour and I question myself for much of the pregnancy, wondering if my gut instinct will be right. I keep being told that third labours are often unpredictable and this clouds my ability to hear my intuition. I know I can handle another long labour if it comes to that, but I know that’s not what I want or instinctively feel will happen. I predict labour will be about 2.5 hours long. I don’t want to have you at home unexpectedly now that the homebirth is no longer happening, so I decide that we will need to go into the birth centre as soon as I know that I am in established labour. Brian and I discuss a fast labour though and decide that if my waters break we will stay at home and call an ambulance rather than risk giving birth in the car on the way to hospital. I gave birth to Blake just one contraction after his waters broke and I feel if this labour is similar then it will be safer to stay put. I feel comfortable that if you want to be born that quickly then we can handle it together.

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At my birth centre appointment at 38+6 weeks (Wednesday the 7th August), I speak to J who I have a feeling will be the midwife at our birth (I have 3 midwives caring for me through pregnancy) and we discuss the labour. Once again she explains how unpredictable third labours can be with lots of women having stop and start contractions and not being able to fully get in the zone. She also explains that because one of my three midwives is on holidays her and the other midwife are flat out busy and jokingly tells me not to have the baby before the weekend. I am disappointed. I tell her once again, that I feel the labour will be fairly fast but I am not sure if she is really hearing me. J checks your position and you are partially engaged. I have been squatting several times a day during this last trimester as a way of encouraging you to go lower into my pelvis as both your siblings had not engaged at all before labour. As we leave I tell her, I’ll call you on the weekend. This is my last birth centre appointment.

I crossed my fingers that you would be born the next day on the 08/08/13 all through the pregnancy, so that your birthdate would match Hannah’s (31/08/08) and Blake’s (12/10/10) and have double numbers in it. I notice lots of painless Braxton Hicks’s during that Thursday but the previous days appointment has taken me out of the labour mind zone. I know if I go into labour that day I might not have one of my midwives with me and I really want to avoid that. Little do I know that is what ends up happening anyway.

Brian and I both know the end is near. Even though I haven’t even passed my 15th August due date, I feel very strongly that you will be here by the end of the weekend. We decide to go out on Saturday morning for breakfast as a family of four for what we hope will be the last time. The waiter askes me when I am due and when I answer Any day now, he quickly asks me not to break my waters whilst in their cafe! Normally I get annoyed by these sort of comments but because I feel that we are so close to meeting you, his words just make me laugh. We enjoy our breakfast and a play at the park before heading home for a nap.

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Blake falls asleep in the car and Brian transfers him to his bed when we come home as normal. I go into the room a little while later to have a rest and notice that he has woken up which doesn’t usually happen, but he runs off to play. About half an hour later I am woken by a childs cries and immediately feel they are Blake’s. I know Brian is out there taking care of the children but as I lay there for another few seconds, I feel in my gut something is very wrong. Just as I leap out of bed I can hear Brians footsteps racing up the stairs and he begins calling my name as I open the bedroom door. He is holding a screaming Blake who’s hand is covered in blood and Brian quickly says, We need to get him to a doctor NOW, his finger has been bitten by the dog next door.

All I can ask as I start throwing things into bags is whether his finger is still intact and Brian says he isn’t even sure, there is too much blood. My heart is literally pounding in my head and I am screaming obsceneties about next doors dog while running around 9 months pregnant in my bra and undies. I don’t realise the next door neighbour has come up on our front deck with his first aid kit and can see and hear everything. I don’t care, I am completely freaking out and I rush us all into the car. We drive to the hospital. I am driving which is painful at this late stage of pregnancy and it starts to give me Braxton Hicks’s. Thankfully at the Childrens Hospital we are seen pretty quickly by a lovely doctor and she lets us know that this is not an easy fix. Because dogs can have a multitude of germs in their mouth and can cause a serious infection Blake will need to be taken to theatre and sedated while they properly clean his finger with some heavy duty solution. They will also give him stitches if necessary. Luckily after a quick clean in some saline it looks like there is no serious ligament damage and his finger is fortunately in one piece.

Blake is an absolute trooper through the entire day and barely cries even while receiving his IV. Hannah is fascinated with medical events so this is an interesting experience for her and she listens and watches everything intensly. In the late afternoon, all we can do is wait for Blake to be taken to theatre so we agree that Brian will stay with Blake and hopefully bring him home later that night and I will take Hannah home and have dinner. I have been having BH’s intermittently throughout the day and sitting on those plastic chairs for hours is so uncomfortable. I have also barely eaten since our breakfast that morning but I seem to have a bit of a tummy ache. My heart is so split. I want to stay with Blake and care for him, but I know Hannah needs some dinner and rest and that I have to take care of myself and you too. After a quick chat, Blake is quite okay with us leaving and I know he will be just fine with Brian.
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Hannah and I drive home, get some take-out for dinner, have a lovely bath together and are asleep by 8:30pm. I wake at 10:30pm to a couple of texts from Brian letting me know that Blake has come back safely from surgery and that they will get a cab home early in the morning. I fall asleep more relaxed and wake again to use the toilet at 2:30am. You are kicking around furiously so before I walk out of the bathroom I take a minute to watch you somersault around my belly in the mirror. It makes me smile and  I am very tempted to grab my phone and video the action but I remind myself that logically I am not even due and I will have plenty of time to video you in the coming days.

I go back into the bedroom and for some reason feel like swaying a little. I press the acupressure point  on my wrist while doing so. I feel a little like I am in dreamland, just following some deep instinct rather than using my thinking brain, but after a couple of minutes I feel silly, I’m not even having any Braxton Hicks! I lay down and look at Hannah sleeping next to me while my hand feels you kicking in my belly and I get a little teary looking at my big girl and realising I will be starting the baby experience again in just a matter of days.
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To be continued…

(Birth Video here)