Dearest Hannah, Blake and Baby Girl,
How could I have known what being a mother meant until I became one? I had no idea that your lives would change mine in ways I could never have expected.
This is my 6th Mother’s Day as a mama. For me it is an anniversary and celebration of babies in my belly, in my arms and in my heart. Mother’s Day means holding the space for all of these special ones within me everyday and never forgetting the blessings I have been given. Events that at the time seemed too difficult, too painful and too miserable to ever be viewed in a positive light, I can now see were just preparations for my mothering journey. They allowed me to walk a new path and become a new person. And the moments I have experienced of pure joy, happiness and bliss since then have only served to compound that understanding for me.
I could never have imagined that choosing to become a mother would mean that I would be instead making a decision to change myself. Things I believed in so strongly before are now not important and things I had no idea existed have become my life mantra. I have allowed myself to surrender into the beauty and the sacrifice of motherhood and I am a better person for it.
There is nothing I feel deserves my time more than to spend it with you – my children. There is nowhere I would rather be, no regrets about my choices, and no changes that I want to make in how I choose to live my life right now. I am grateful beyond measure that I am blessed with you – each of you - and it is only through becoming your mama that I know the true meaning of that word.
Thank you for your shining smiles. I am thankful that I have the pleasure of seeing them every day.
24 Weeks Pregnant
I have no idea how I’m at this gestation already! Time seems to be in fast forward mode.
Everything is going really well so far. Baby girl is moving and kicking just as much as her two older siblings did when they were in the womb. She is the most responsive baby I’ve had – she will move to wherever a hand is lying and respond to the pressure with lots of consecutive thumps and bumps – much to Hannah’s delight.
It’s very special to be sharing this pregnancy with Hannah. She is so much more aware and interested and able to participate in the daydreaming and anticipation that comes with waiting for a new baby. One of our favourite things to do together is to lie in bed and watch 3D computer animations of how our baby is developing in the womb and what she is doing at that particular gestation. Technology is just so damn cool sometimes.
Blake is anticipating the pregnancy with the naivety and general uninterest of a 2.5 year old. He does like to lift my shirt up and kiss the bump or feel her kick occasionally but I know he doesn’t truly understand there is a new addition coming into our family in August. He is very gentle and in awe of newborns and small babies though so I am sure he will adjust as well as one can expect when the time comes.
I’m trying not to have too many expectations of this baby. Hannah, and especially Blake, were both quite unsettled babies. Definately not easy-going at all. But as hard as those first 6-9 months were, they went by so fast and I have to remind myself of that when I am in the thick of newborn days this time. I want to try to savour the moments when they are small as I know they are fleeting. I have been asked if this will be our last baby and I can’t say yes for sure – never say never. But even if it’s not, I am not going to experience this baby as a newborn ever again, and I want to enjoy it. I want to fully surrender to the experence and immerse myself in it and remove as much stress and anxiety from the months ahead as possible. We plan to indulge in a babymoon this time and spend time bonding with our new family member and connecting as a family of 5. I feel in retrospect we did too much too early in the first fortnight of Hannah and Blake’s lives and I regret that. I think we need the time to just be… I at least want to give us that opportunity and if we change our mind then so be it.
Brian, Hannah, Blake and I are thrilled to announce we are expecting another sweet baby GIRL!
We are truly excited. We have felt this little girl has been a long time coming into our family. Those of you who know Blake’s story know that we were told that he was a girl at our morphology scan. I can happily say that I am confident that this time it really is a girl we are expecting, and the sonographer was fantastic in double and triple checking for us several times!
Hannah adored meeting her newest sibling through the ultrasound and was more than excited to have her suspicions confirmed that the baby was a girl! She is very interested in watching 3D animations of babies in the womb and is patiently awaiting to feel the baby kick for the first time.
This was Blake’s contribution to our photoshoot… letting go of our pink balloon! He is not quite sure what is happening and seems adamant that when someone mentions a baby girl that they are in fact calling him a girl which he opposes with a loud, “I a big boy, not a girl!” A few friends of ours have had newborns recently and his behaviour has been very curious and gentle so we have no doubt he will be full of exctitement once this baby is born.
We had our morphology scan yesterday and were very happy to see our little one on the screen again, looking well and healthy.
We also found out the sex…
We thought it would be fun to see what our family and friends think so leave a guess in the comments below and I will reveal all later tonight
Hannah – Crafting very intently at the Gallery of Modern Art.
Blake – Chasing after your friends by the Brisbane river.
Hannah – Always talking, always chatting, always a story to tell.
Blake – Always happy to follow mama’s photography instructions.